There was a young man who visited a therapist once and told the therapist that his life was a mess. "Oh", said the therapist, why is that? The young man replied that he felt like a failure. He had never had a beautiful girlfriend he could be proud of, hated his job, could never save and lived at home with his parents. The therapist ask the young man how his life had got into such a state. The young man could not reply. The therapist asked the young man, "Now that you realise your life is in such a mess, what have you learned from this experience?" The young man replied that he had to make some changes, and so he went away and found a beautiful girlfriend, got a well paying job, saved some money and bought some property.

The young man returned to the therapist after a year and said my life is a mess.  "Oh", said the therapist, why is that? The young man replied that he felt like a failure. He had never been married, didn't earn a six-figure income, lived in a small house and only drove a Toyota Corolla. The therapist asked the young man, "Now that you realise your life is in such a mess, what have you learned from this experience?" The young man replied that he had to make some changes. So, he went away, got a better paying job, bought a new Toyota Landcruiser, got married and had three children.

Ten years later, the man, who was now in his late 30's, went back to the therapist and told him that his life was in a mess. "Oh", said the therapist, "Why is that?" The man replied that he felt like a failure. He told the therapist, that although he was now the CEO of the company, made lots of money and had three beautiful children, he still felt like a failure, because now he was divorced.

The therapist ask the man, "What have you learned from this?" Then the man realised. For his entire life he had measured his selfworth on what he had achieved, or where he was in life, but had not learned the central truth about life and why we are here. He now understood that life was an experience. Some of those experiences were more pleasant than others, but an experience nevertheless. It was from these experiences that we learn and grow, and that we learn from both painful experiences as well as pleasurable ones.

So, the man went away and learned to enjoy the time he spent with his children and found someone he could love. He resigned from his position as CEO of the company and started his own business, working less and making less money. He finally felt like a success.